"Where are you now?"

We had our own version of the "can you hear me now?" commercial the other day at the restaurant. Some people phoned for directions because they thought they were lost. They were about 2 minutes away, but it took at least 10 minutes (maybe more) for them to arrive. Here is Fatima's end of the conversation (rd names changed to protect the innocent) "where are you now? Okay, you are almost here, no, don't turn down That Rd, go straight . . . what do you see? No that's not right . . . you didn't turn on That Rd did you? . . . No, I said DON'T turn on That Rd, you are going the wrong way. Turn around. Turn left when you get to the corner. /minutes pass/ No, you need to turn around That Rd doesn't cross Other Rd. /more minutes/ Okay, now when you get to the corner turn left. Left. Yes, that will get you here. I drive that road every day, it will come past here. /pause/. Yes, turn left. No - LEFT! Yes, now go up the hill to the 4 way stop and turn right at Our Rd, we are the first driveway. Are you at the 4 way stop? Good. Oh, yes I can see you from the window. Turn right. /pause/ Where did you go? No, I said turn right, Our Rd only goes right, Another Rd goes to the left. You need to turn around. /pause/ Okay, I see you again, go straight. See the vineyard? The gates are on the left, yes there."

Poor Fatima! She was trying to cook and at the same time hand hold these people who weren't listening, all of us in the kitchen were practically peeing our pants but trying not to laugh out loud. Then when the guests arrived they told their server that the directions had been bad. //sigh//