Coming Unhinged - Literally!

Well, it happened again - the outside door to our suite came unhinged. I'm not sure that unhinged is exactly the right term, seeing as the hinges are still functioning properly, they just aren't attached to anything. At any rate, I'm sick and tired of the door almost falling on me every other time I open it, so I bought the mother of all screws today - 4" long wood screws! If those suckers don't hold it together I don't know what will.

What really needs to happen is for the door to be redone, but that means tearing out new drywall and listening to most of my family blame it on my kids being to hard on the door. True, they do often slam door and don't always remember to turn the knob, however, the blame for the faulty door lays squarely on the uncle who installed it. Anyway, we'll see how the giant screws do before I look for a carpenter (Andrew Dan Jumbo maybe?).

Drat, drat, no more fat!

Or at least a lot less of it, in my food that is, so far not on my butt.

Step 2 - cut down on dietary fat intake.
So no more leftover bangers and mash for breakfast, and a lot less bangers and mash for dinner. Bummer. I guess that also covers biscuits with sausage gravy and my favorite McDonald's BLT Bagels. Too bad fake bacon tastes like crap.

Since Step 1 was carbonated caffeine, this means I eventually have to take on real caffeine and the rest of my 4 unhealthy food groups. A comedian once said that her food groups were "eat in, take out, frozen and canned." Mine have become sugar, salt, caffeine, and fat. The ultimate expression of that comes in the form of a Peanut Buster Parfait from Dairy Queen. Mmmmmm. . .

Jabba the Hutt must go!

I had a rude awakening last evening. I was sitting in front of my computer, it was off, the monitor was dark, I looked up and there on the screen was Jabba the Hutt. Ack! Actually, it was a reflection of my torso wearing an orangey tan t-shirt and slouching but it was a shock I tell you. I've known for ages now that I need to lose weight, my knees have been complaining for quite some time, and I let laziness and genetics get the best of me. So, newly motivated, I'm back on the healthy lifestyle wagon.

There is most definitely a fat gene on my father's side of the family and I got it. I know I'll never be a supermodel (I'm too short anyway), but at least I can make my knees shut up. While I was thinking about the whole fat thing I got a fundraising idea for the greyhound adoption group I volunteer with - I'll get weight loss sponsors! Shortly, I'll be collecting pledges and starting June 1, I'll see how many pounds I can ditch between then and Greyhound Planet Day in September. Hopefully I can raise some much need cash for the dogs at the same time.

• Step 1 - cold turkey on the carbonated beverages.
  I'm a caffiene addict and I like it bubbly. My first step is to to cut carbonation, then move on to caffiene altogether (we'll go slowly on that one, been there, done that, got the headaches).

The lemming effect . . .

Apparently anybody who is anybody needs a blog these days, so here I am. Not that I think I am or aspire to be anybody in particular but this seems like a good place to direct the voices in my head. Not voices that tell me to kill people or do anything hideous, I don't have any of those, just the voices that keep me awake at night.

According to someone who knows these things, one is supposed to have a concept for a blog. Hmmm. Well, I guess my concept is a chronicle of all the bizarre things that happen in my otherwise mundane life.